


The Saga of the Batglare

by AlmondRose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, batglares, poor duke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7759942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce occasionally communicates in grunts. Duke's not sure how to decipher them. The rest of the family does not have this problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Saga of the Batglare

 

Duke was in the Batcave when it happened for the first time. He was taking a break from training, and Bruce was at the computer, working on a case. Damian and Stephanie came down into the cave, dressed in civilian clothes. Steph and Damian walked up to Bruce. 

 

“Hey,” Steph said. Bruce grunted in reply. “We’re headed out.”

 

“Hn,” Bruce said, still staring at his screen.

 

“Remember? I’m taking Damian to  _ Wicked? _ ” Steph said. Damian nodded. He didn’t look happy, but he wasn’t actively stabbing anyone, either. Bruce half-turned to face the pair. 

 

“For her birthday, I said I would do something with her,” Damian explained. “And she chose this play.”

 

“Yup!” Steph said, nodding widely. “It’s gonna be great!” Bruce grunted and turned back to his computer. 

 

“We will!” Steph said, and she hopped out of the cave, Damian following behind. Duke was confused. 

 

\---

 

The next time it happened, it was in the morning and Duke was eating cereal. Tim was across from him, screwing around on his phone. Bruce came downstairs and sat down, Alfred handing him a protien shake. 

 

“Morning,” Duke said. Bruce grunted and drained his shake. 

 

“How’s the case going?” Tim asked. 

 

“Hng,” Bruce said, which wasn’t really a noise, but Tim nodded anyway.

 

“Makes sense,” he said. “Need help?” Bruce shook his head and stood up. He made an unidentifiable noise as he walked out. 

 

“I’ll be there!” Tim called in reply and Duke was even  _ more  _ confused. 

 

\---

 

“Hey, Bruce?” Duke asked, approaching the man. He was in the middle of training. He grunted. Duke took that that to mean, “Yeah?” 

 

“Dick wants to talk to you. He told me to tell you to call.” Bruce grunted again and swung his fist at the punching bag. “So you will?” Duke asked. Bruce’s eyes shifted over to him, and Duke felt like the icy glare was burning him, so he said, “Okay then, sure, I’ll tell him you’re busy.” He walked away, wondering if he was missing something.

 

\---

 

When it happened next, Duke was coming out of the Batcave, and Bruce was at his desk, and Alfred was standing behind him. 

 

“I say, Master Bruce, you need to take a vacation!” Alfred said. Bruce didn’t reply. “No, I am not absurd, you need a break!” Was Alfred...talking to himself? “You have more than enough people to cover for you here,” Alfred scolded. “You can take a week off, go visit Miss Diana’s home, go buy an island, but you need to get away from crime.” Bruce grunted. “No the world will not end!” 

 

Alfred sighed and turned to see Duke. 

 

“I am so sorry, Master Duke, but Master Bruce is being so  _ difficult,”  _ Alfred said that last bit with a pointed look at Bruce, then he swept out of the room.

 

“What was that about?” Duke asked. Bruce grunted.

 

\---

 

Duke wasn’t the only one in the dark, though. He was in the Cave, reading some old files, while Cass and Harper were at the computer. Bruce came into the room and walked over to the girls, grunting. Duke watched them. 

 

“I don’t care about your--case?” Harper asked, sending a look at Cass. She nodded. Harper turned back to Bruce. “Yeah. I don’t care about whatever case you have to solve, we’re  _ busy.”  _ Bruce glared at them. “We don’t need to train,” Harper said indignantly. “We were training all morning!” Bruce tapped his foot and crossed his arms. “We don’t need a break!”

 

“Food,” Cass said. “He said we should go out to dinner.” 

 

“Oh,” Harper said, deflating. “Well, either way--” Cass stood up and helped Harper up, too. 

 

“Murder case,” she said simply. “We should go.”

 

“If you pay,” Harper grumbled, and Bruce sat down at the computer, instantly in Bat-mode. Duke rose an eyebrow, then turned back to his files. 

 

\---

 

It even happened on patrol. 

 

“I hear you’re going on vacation!” Jason yelled, shooting some thugs. Bruce grunted in reply while Duke flipped out of the way of his attacker. 

 

“Nightwing said so!” Jason said, kicking Duke’s nunchucks at him. Duke grabbed them and swiped at the man coming at him. “No really,” Jason said, continuing his one-sided conversation. “I heard you were gonna go lie on a beach somewhere.”

 

“Urg,” Bruce said, sending a batarang out at people. 

 

“No, I think it’s good for you,” Jason said, flipping up and over a fallen body. Duke wasn’t sure the man was alive or not. “I’ve always said you needed some down time.”

 

“Can we focus more on fighting and less on Batman’s free time?” Duke yelled, and Jason sighed. 

 

“If you insist.”

 

\---

 

“If there’s any emergencies, we’ll come get you,” Clark explained. Duke was probably staring, since _ Superman _ and  _ Wonder Woman _ and  _ Flash _ were in the Batcave, but he didn’t think anyone would judge. They were probably used to being stared at. 

 

Bruce grunted. 

 

“Yes we will,” Clark said soothingly. “Now go have fun at the beach.” Bruce rose an eyebrow. 

 

“You’ll have fun,” Diana said confidently. “The beach is very relaxing.” Bruce crossed his arms. 

 

“Yes, even for you,” Clark said, and Duke was surprised that Superman and Wonder Woman knew him this well. Flash was looking around helplessly, so Duke knew it wasn’t everyone who understood Batman so well. Wally met Duke’s eye and Duke shrugged. Wally mouthed  _ Help  _ and Duke made a helpless face. 

 

“Time to go,” Diana said. “Would you like me to fly you, or Clark?” Bruce grunted, looking at his shoes.

 

“If you fly yourself you might fly back,” Dick explained, appearing out of nowhere. “Don’t worry! We’ll take good care of Gotham.” 

 

“Do try not to burn the house down,” Alfred said, coming down the stairs holding a suitcase. “I could still stay, if you wish--”

 

“No!” Dick said. “No. You go with Bruce. Clark, carry Bruce. Diana, carry Alfred. We’ll be fine here.” Bruce grunted again and Clark rolled his eyes. 

 

“Come on, grumpy pants,” he said and he carried Bruce away. Alfred and Diana left after them and Dick turned to face Duke. 

 

“Well, I’m Batman again,” he said, sighing. Then he grunted and Duke and Wally jumped back in shock. Dick laughed.

 

\---

 

Bruce and Dick and Damian were staring at each other. Damian crossed his arms. Dick rolled his eyes. Bruce grunted. 

 

“What the heck?” Duke asked. 

 

“Bruce is upset because Damian wants to patrol with Dick. Dick thinks Bruce is being childish. Bruce is mad because while he was on vacation, the old Batman-and-Robin spark came back between Dick and Damian. He blames Dick for forcing him to go on vacation. Damian wants to patrol alone now, and they’re both hurt,” Tim explained. 

 

“How did you--never mind,” Duke sighed. “I’ll probably never understand this.”

 

“You’d be surprised,” Tim said and Duke scoffed. 

 

“Yeah right.”

 

\---------

 

Duke couldn’t help but laugh at the hopeless look on Carrie Kelley’s face. Bruce grunted at her this time and she didn’t move. Duke put his hand on her shoulder.

 

“He wants you to train with Steph,” he explained. Carrie saged with relief. 

 

“Thanks, Duke!” she said, smiling, and she scurried over to Steph. 

 

“Hgn,” Bruce said. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Duke said. “Coffee. I’ll be right back.”

  
“Good,” Bruce said, and Duke smiled. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed! comments/kudos are welcome!


End file.
